Return to the new normal: Leader’s top of mind. What do you think the new normal is going to look like for you?Axialent recently hosted a live debate, Return to the new normal: Leader’s top of mind, featuring Oseas Ramirez, corporate innovation advisor and keynote speaker to Fortune 500 companies, startup founder, and board member in several organizations, and Thierry De Beyssac, business cultural transformation expert and former CEO in 12 countries. The two explored and debated global organizations’ leaders’ top of mind topics and how to prepare for thnew normal”.   
The live webinar covered three pressing questions:
 

What do you think the new normal is going to look like?

  • The “new normal won’t look the same for every person, company, and country and each one might experience their new normal on a different timeline, as situations progress differently worldwide. 
  • It will be important to manage your organizational trauma to recover your people’s engagement and help them be able to perform at their best. 
  • We have proved we can be resilient by making fast changes during this crisis. Now, how can we replicate it in a sustainable new normal way?  
  • Fast-tracked innovation projects are now the new internal benchmark. 
  • We need to be agilenot just do agile: attitude does matter. 

 

What challenges and opportunities do you see now emerging from this crisis?

  • Never let a good crisis go to wasteThere is an opportunity to reshape your organizational culture, review your purpose, and operating model.  Do it quicker and deeper.  
  • Disruption is a fantastic window of opportunity to work on self-empowerment, to redesign ourselves, and to review mindsets and corresponding habits. 

 

What is the implication of this new normal at a leader’s personal level?

  • Be a permanent LEARNER and develop yourself as a coaching leaderInvest at least half to a full day of your time on it every week.  
  • As a leader, you have a professional responsibility to take care of yourself personally. Not 
    practicing basic sleep and healthy nutrition routines can make cognitive capacity decline, which in turn can, make the quality of decisions suffer. 

To view the full webinar discussion between our experts, Oseas and Thierry, please click here to watch the video.  

In Fran Cherny and Thierry De Beyssac’s article, Survivor Syndrome: Overcoming Organizational Trauma in Times of Crisis, they mention “meeting people where they are” as a way of helping your organization navigate this difficult time. What does it mean to “meet people where they are?” Why it is important?  
In life, we are all seeking experiences that make us feel good, loved, and give us a sense of belonging. We crave connection. The workplacein any format, is not the exception. According to Forbes Magazine, on average, we invest a little less than half our time at work in meetings, interacting with colleagues. There are plenty of opportunities to build connection and strong, trusting relationships, and yet, often we feel disconnected and sense a lack of belonging. 
Survivor Syndrome: Building Bridges and meeting people where they are. Two hands, one on either side of a pane of glass in a windowMoreover, during difficult times and crises in an organization, leaders tend to focus all their energy in trying to survive and keep the business going; learning to transform the business while running the business. Relationships are sometimes overlooked, and connection is postponed for “when the right time comes.”
In Axialent, we believe that what we do as leaders shapes our organizational culture and how we choose to respond during crisis is what makes the difference.  
Responding to the challenge in a constructive way and supporting people to be at their best will help organizations grow their power of adaptability and resilience: two things we all need desperately, now more than ever. 
 

Building connections and meeting people where they are is a step toward supporting people to be at their best

So, if meeting people where they are” makes us feel loved and valued and can help us thrive, why do we often experience disconnection or misunderstandings instead? 
It turns out we can find it difficult to connect with others: 

  • It takes work and energy: Empathy is hard work. According to the American Psychological Association, people sometimes choose to avoid empathy because of mental effort it requires. 
  • It can be painful / uncomfortable to see people we love & care for suffer: We want to save people from suffering. We cannot “spare people from living the process.” The only way out is through.
  • We get frustrated and anxious for the time it takes to walk the journey: We sometimes feel that talking about what has happened is not the best investment of our time, and it’s frustrating. “Lets go into solution mode NOW!  
  • Knower Energy: We believe we know what needs to be done, whats best for the other person and what needs to happen. “How can they not see it? It’s so clear!” 
  • Our own judgment: We experience disappointment when we feel that things or people are not being good enough. We put our own expectations on others. 
  • It’s challenging to look inward at ourselves to a place where we can connect and resonate with others pain and experiences. We are not always willing to do it.  

 

Building bridges

So, how can we increase our connection to build bridges and “meet people where they are?”

  • Self-connection: Be aware of your own stories and emotions toward the situation. Clarify your own intentions. How is this situation making me feel? What is the story I am telling myself? How would I like to help others? What would make me feel proud, despite the results?
  • Acceptance: Whatever it is, is enough. Let go of any expectations of how things should be or how people should react. We are all in our own journey and the time it takes for each of us to process what is happening is the time each of us need.
  • Hold the space for others: Be fully present with your energy, intention, and attention. Create a safe space for people to share their own stories, without fear of negative consequences. Let people know you are in this together.
  • See people with kind eyes: Tap into your empathy and compassion. We are all doing our best to deal with our own challenges. Its ok to feel whatever each of us is feeling. Be at their serviceassume good intent, and seek to understand others’ perspectives and beliefs with genuine curiosity.
  • Help people get unstuck: The way we see the problem is the problemChallenge peoples beliefs by offering alternative perspectives and support them in creating new possibilities for their business, their relationships, and their lives.
  • Invite people to move forward: Create a compelling and inspiring vision for people to join you and reduce the exit barriers for people wanting to leave.
  • Be the change you want to see in the world: Lead your team by example by demonstrating the standards (behaviors) you would like to see in others.

 
Reaching out and offering our helping hands with the sole intention of supporting each other is the way we, at Axialent, choose to respond.
 
“Just Say No: How Your Meeting Habit Is Harming You” Forbes.com, 8 August 2013
“Empathy Often Avoided Because of Mental Effort” apa.org, 22 April 2019

In a recent article, my colleagues Fran Cherny and Thierry De Beyssac offered some thoughts on Survivor Syndrome; how the present challenges have the potential to create organizational trauma affecting all the dimensions of business and how to better cope with this. Theoffer in their article a list of actions to help and support your employees as we move through this time together. The first on the list being: “to put things on the table. What does it mean to “put things on the table?” What can I do differently to help myself and others around me during this difficult time?
What does it mean to “put things on the table?”
The emotions that are triggered in us by a world in constant “VUCA Reloaded Mode may put us in a place that oscillates between harmful repression and brutal explosion. Anger, for example, permeates openly or simmers under the surface. As we speak to colleagues, friends or family members, it can almost tele-transport itself across remote devices. I like to say that as long as the emotion “has you,” you have no choice. You will do whatever the emotion does, only to regret it later. You will say things that hurt others, make promises that are impossible to deliver you name it.
I like to offer to my clients the following concept: the only way out is through. In order to put things on the table, you must enter a space of higher wisdom and compassion.
 

You do that by:

  1. Taking a few deep breaths of awareness: You separate yourself from the story. It becomes “you have the emotion,” rather than “the emotion has you.” You take perspective of your thoughts. The I (the person) that has the thought is NOT the thought. I feel angry, rather than I am angry.
  2. Accepting the emotion unconditionally: Realize that the emotion makes perfect sense, given the story you are telling yourself.
  3. Analyzing the story behind the emotion: Every emotion has an archetypal story. For example, anger or frustration has the story: “something bad is happening and it should not be happening.
  4. Expressing your thoughts and ideas from a place of tentativeness and humility: As you engage in conversations with your colleagues or leaders about what is going on, you adopt the perspective of good intent from everyoneEven when you don’t understand what is going on, you assume that the people in charge of calling the shots have everyone’s interest at heart.
  5. Inquiring about the thoughts and ideas of others from a place of wanting to learn, of curiosity: The combination of 4 and 5 creates the conversational dance where any topic can be addressed or put on the table.

 

Put things on the table

Working through steps 1-3 are paramount if you would like to have a constructive conversation. Taking these steps will set the conditions for the kind of conversation you want to have. The promise is that you will be better able to understand each other. And then make better and informed decisions, for the good of the business, the team and yourself. Being able to address difficult topics in an opencaring and compassionate way is a powerful way to increase connection among your employees in these difficult times.

Quote from James Anthony Froude "You cannot dream yourself into a character,; you must forge and hammer yourself one." Never let a good crisis go to waste.
In the first post of this series, I shared an anecdote of how I once heard an executive in the US say “Never let a good crisis go to waste”. On the second post, we briefly explored some ideas about how the crisis and how we respond to it might have a long-lasting effect, with downstream effects impacting our character. In this post, I would like to share some thoughts on how a practice of empathy and gratitude can be a character-building ‘workout’.
As the pandemic continues to wreak havoc in our healthcare and economic systems at the macro-level, the downstream impacts it has on our lives are extremely varied. However, it is difficult to keep in mind the different impact ‘modalities’ it has. The conversations, articles, podcasts, news, etc. from the last weeks have gotten me thinking about the different realities people are experiencing – and it’s prompted me both to empathize more and be grateful for my own situation (still working on it!). We can look at some of these different realities through a large number of different ‘lenses’ or perspectives to help with the mental and emotional exercise. Let’s start with the lens of work situation by looking at a very very high level way of grouping different types of work circumstances many of us are facing right now.

Knowledge / remote workers

This is a segment of the population in many countries that has the great fortune of being able to continue their work from home. Some were already doing it before the crisis, but many people in several countries are now full-time remote workers, for the first time. Those who had not worked remotely before might be struggling with the basics: i.e. setting up a proper physical space, improving their setup to have proper internet connectivity (have you been on a videoconference recently where someone is struggling to get good wifi signal inside their house?), proper headset, etc. For some others, the challange might be not only the setup, but also the learning curve to work remotely: I’ve heard from many of our clients how they have struggled to teach their people how to work remotely overnight, with some even paying online courses to teach their workforce how to operate in this environment. There are some others who now struggle to manage a workforce which became a distributed one overnight.
On top of this we can layer other type of complications – a Wall Street firm HR Director recently shared with me a situation they are facing with their younger workers. Many of them might find themselves working out of a densely populated urban area in which they live with roommates in a small space (think NY or San Francisco, for example). In their small apartments, they might not even have a suitable space to camp out with their laptop and take a call, or said space is not enough to have all roommates trying to do it simultaneously. Others might find themselves locked in their house with their kids running around with no school – trying now to double not only as remote workers but as homeschool teachers. I have heard hundreds of variants of this type of situation, but even though it is undeniably disruptive and stressful, it is a great situation to be in, especially if we consider others.

Still with a job, risking it

There are many others who are fortunate enough to still have a job, but it can’t be performed remotely, and it needs to be performed. Thousands of healthcare workers (facing greater risks than anyone), bank branch employees, supermarket employees, essential service provider workers (water, electricity, internet) among many others. They not only have to deal with potentially having their kids at home, but to continue performing their job – and essentially doing it knowing that everyday that passes they risk contagion, with all the uncertainty that comes with it. “Will I get mild symptoms or end in the hospital? Can I pass it on to my kids and or older relatives living with us?” are thoughts we all might have, but I can only imagine the way they are amplified for those having to leave home everyday to go to work.

Now unemployed – and unprotected

Then we have millions who are now (or about to be) unemployed… and depending on which country they are in, and their situation, this can be a downward spiral with potential ramifications worse than the virus’ most common course. A startup CEO in Mexico recently told me “in my country, poverty will kill more people than the virus”. There are billions of people who live either under the poverty line, or who barely surpass it yet require income on a daily or weekly basis to survive. An interruption in income of a few days can mean they can’t pay rent or other essential expenses. Losing employment can mean they lose their medical insurance, whether private or public…

Other lenses

Sickness and death is yet another lens through which we can try to empathize. Both can touch us all – whether we live in the 1% strata or live in poverty, employed or unemployed, no one is immune to this. We’ve heard about infected (and recently dead) royals and celebrities all the way to the mass graves for the less fortunate ones.
There are additional, countless lenses through which we can try to empathize with others during these times: age (i.e. older people seem to have higher mortality rates), having access or not to testing and healthcare if needed, being able to take care of oneself even for basic chores like shopping, the political situation of where you live (those under totalitarian regimes might be on slippery slope to lose even more freedom), etc.
Whatever the lenses we choose to practice empathy, they can be helpful to get some understanding of what others are living during this crisis. If you are reading this, there is a very reasonable chance you are in one of the more fortunate situations: hopefully you have the financial means to weather this storm out, or you still have a job you can do remotely. If this is the case, remember, even if you are experiencing hardships, count your blessings: there are probably millions who would see your current situation as an answer to their prayers, if they could switch places with you today. Realizing that can help put things in perspective – and it’s one of many ways in which we can individually do our work to avoid letting this crisis go to waste.
 
First published in LinkedIn 

Marcus Aurelius quote "It can ruin your life only if it ruins your character. Otherwise, it cannot harm you - inside or out." Never let a good crisis go to waste: Part 2 - Who do you want to become? Crises as opportunities to (re)build our character.
It can ruin your life only if it ruins your character. Otherwise it cannot harm you — inside or out. Marcus Aurelius
One of the most tangible aspects of a crisis like the one we are living is the material damage it causes: sickness, death, lost jobs, etc. There is, however, a less tangible but also very important dimension: the net balance a crisis has on our character as individuals, and the overall impact on society as a whole stemming from this.
Many phrases such as ‘adversity reveals character’, or variants of it, seem to indicate that a crisis will bring out who we truly are – and in many cases this won’t be a pretty sight. For example, in the current SARS-CoV-2 pandemic we can find dozens of stories of people who are taking advantage of the situation for their own benefit.
The flip side to this is seeing others rise to the occasion. Every tragedy brings its host of heroes, even if most of them remain unknown. Think of the first responders during 9/11, firefighters and others helping people out of crumbled buildings during an earthquake, rescue personnel saving people during floods – or, right now, thousands of healthcare workers, law enforcement personnel, food supply chain workers and countless others who are risking their lives for others.

The opportunities

We see responses ranging from the vile to the heroic and everything in between. This, however, does not prove that the type of responses we see is an inevitable result of a crisis ‘revealing the true colors of individuals’. Even under the most dire of circumstances, we all still have a choice. In other words, critical situations highly correlate with individuals showing more of who they are, but it does not invariably cause it. This might seem like word play from someone with nothing better to do than playing semantics, yet the implications are deeply profound.
Circumstances do not force me into acting one way or another (for better or worse) – I still have a choice. And what I choose has an impact on my character, every single time. Given that crises confront us with an abnormally high number of choices to make every day, we are basically on an accelerated path to build or destroy our character – and we do not have the option of choosing not to be on this path. Either by action or inaction we are doing something to our character. We are much better off by becoming aware of this and improving our choices every day.
Let’s look at this at different levels to illustrate:

At a personal level

A crisis is a perfect (and unavoidable) daily practice of how we react in the face of stress. It is an emotional gym that gives us the opportunity to ‘put in our reps’ every day. Pandemic panic shopping is making it increasingly hard to find vital supplies? This is a text-book definition of a situation to be legitimately stressed about: it can kickstart a downward spiral of fear, horror, self-pity, anger.
It’s also an opportunity to practice how to refocus my mind on what I can control and operate in that space, as limited as it might be: first rep of the day. Kids running around the house with no school – while trying to take a conference call? Check, that is very stressing – how am I going to respond to this? Second rep of the day. Sales projections are down? Third rep of the day: practice how I will manage my stress. You get the picture.
The difference with a physical gym is that here we don’t have the alternative to skip it: we are in it, and we will be putting in our reps. They can be reps in which we practice how to get more stressed, angrier, fearful… or they can be reps in which we try to give the best response we humanly can to every prompt. Every choice we make to every one of these prompts, every one of our responses, is a character building block.

At a relationship and / or family level

The lockdown half of the world is currently experiencing has resulted, amongst other things, in an impact to our relationships and / or family life. Young couples who are now living together out of necessity. Families with several generations living under the same roof while weathering out the situation. Couples in the process of getting divorced having to share the same living space, as their separation proceedings slow down or are temporarily halted. Death of loved ones. Families losing the income of one or both parents. Kids homeschooling putting an additional strain on family dynamics. Many of these scenarios can be stressing, depressing, anxiety-inducing, or worse.
If your specific current set of circumstances has made your life more complicated, how are you responding to it? Note that the question is responding to it, not how did you respond to it? This means that you have responded to it, you are still doing it, and more likely you will keep on doing it for the days and weeks and maybe months ahead. Is there a way to respond to it better? Can you address the content of the challenge (tension, grief, whatever it might be) with a better grip on your emotional response? Can you recognize the emotion in the situation, acknowledge it, but not be controlled by it?
The harder our circumstances, the harder choosing to respond to them in a constructive way can be – yet, like most other things in life, practice helps. And every day we have the opportunity to practice a better response. That practice is a way to improve our character. We’re already at the gym: might as well put in the work to come out of this stronger.

Never let a good crisis go to waste

This brings us back to the beginning. Crises bring about painful, tangible consequences. Thousands of us will not survive this pandemic – yet most will. The tragedy and grief that we have and will have for those dying is here and will be here. Let us not add to this tragedy by also losing vast amounts of human quality with the survivors’ characters deterioritating. Instead, let’s honor the departed by becoming a better version of ourselves for now and the times to come. 

Person walking on a beach looking out to a calm sea
First, a bit of context… 12 years ago, we went through a global financial crisis. I remember how we discussed at Axialent the impact of the crisis in organizations, people’s emotions and their effectiveness to give their best at work. At the time, one of my most brilliant mentors, Axialent founder Fred Kofman, said something that stayed with me: People will suffer Survivor Syndrome. He then developed this idea into a short article, and I think now is the time to bring back the “Survival Syndrome” issue to raise our consciousness on what people might be going through these days. Not only might people have lost someone due to the virus, but there is also a feeling of loss whenever we need to let go of the past, of what we were used to. And also when our organization goes through restructuring and we have to let go of colleagues and friends who are part of our community or business family. I call this organizational trauma in times of crisis.
My business partner, Thierry de Beyssac, and I, invite you to read the following article to raise awareness and build effective actions to deal with people’s struggles now. Everyone wants to be at their best, but often unconscious emotional stress gets in the way. We want to help everyone understand some of the hidden and unspoken dynamics we might be facing today and what is it that you can do to dissolve this.
Fran Cherny
————————————————————

The Survivor Syndrome (in times of coronavirus)

Many war veterans realize that their psychological scars are much deeper than any physical pains, and that these will take much longer to heal. The joy and relief of returning home is sooner or later impacted by the things they remember; things they saw, experienced, felt, or feared come home with them. Stories from this past might invade their nightmares for years—perhaps even the rest of their lives. Beyond the happiness of feeling free and back home, the horror and the loss stays.
Psychological studies have found one thing in common in all these great stories of liberations and family reunions: survivor syndrome. One of the biggest emotional weights that those who made it through alive must bear is the guilt of surviving. “Why me and not my friend?” “Why am I alive when so many of my loved ones didn’t make it?” “Do I have the right to live when so many more worthy than me are dead?” Depression and other mental illness, and a great number of suicides are an outcome of not finding a way to deal with these questions.
 

Organizational trauma in times of crisis

Although organizational circumstances are not comparable with any of these extreme life or death situations, at a subconscious level there are some things that our mind starts thinking in a very similar way. For one’s self‐image and ego, the loss of a job has a deep impact in our self-esteem and how we are perceived by others.
When downsizing, many companies invest in psychological and outplacement counseling for those who have been let go. This occurred after the 2008 financial crisis, and we now see this as a common practice in most large organizations. But what about the “survivors”? What about those who now have to carry more responsibilities in a “leaner and meaner” organization? Who helps these people cope with some of the guilt and stress of remaining when some of their colleagues and friends have gone? People are asking: Why did I “survive”?
 

Some real situations

It is easy to think that those who still have a job should feel reassured, consider themselves lucky, and be ready to give the best of themselves. This might be very true for some, but also a bit more complicated for many others. Not facing a possible organizational trauma could prove to be gross negligence for your business.
In the past several weeks we have seen many people in coaching sessions, leadership meetings and virtual training sessions trying to talk about this and finding it hard to find the right words. We have seen a case of a company who decided to cut 40% of their workforce as their industry has been deeply affected. We heard from some of the people still there, who are working double the hours, and still investing a lot of time in connecting with their colleagues who are gone now, checking on them. We know of one employee even offering to give up 50% of their salary so they can offer a 50% job to someone else, as a way to take care of a colleague they valued a lot, which is an amazing gesture of generosity, but that has much more implications when the company does not know how to respond to these initiatives. All this takes time, energy and emotional resilience, and people don’t know how to deal with this.
 

Paying attention to the hidden dynamics

In the midst of the current global crisis, we are seeing a deep impact not only at a health and an economic level, but also at a mental health level. With so many companies of all sizes impacted by the coronavirus confinement and restrictions, and with the high level of uncertainty of the future, it is important to also take these work‐force survivors into consideration and help them to be at their best. Yes, many people have lost their jobs and we should definitely connect with them and support them emotionally and financially. But let’s also be aware that many others have kept their jobs and in a different way, they are struggling to. Yes, people are being supported by their employers to deal with technology issues, how to effectively work from home and many other things that are definitely needed, but we are seeing very little attention being given to the emotional issue created by survivor syndrome.

 
Why do we need to also focus on this when we have so many others issues? Because these are the employees that will carry us through the crisis, and their needs must be met as they face difficult situations, many times expressing symptoms of guilt, stress and fear. And many worry they could be next as there’s no guarantee that layoffs will not continue.
Our invitation is to at least consider it, because this might be a hidden issue affecting your employees’ state of mind and their capacity to be at their best. It is always better to check, to connect with people’s real concerns and fears, than to pretend that nothing is there, creating an “undiscussable” (something we all know exists, but no one really talks about openly, which creates even more tension).
 

Leadership responses will make the difference

We are raising this because with the current context and level of challenge everyone is facing on all levels, we perceive a risk that many managers might use “passive aggressive” or “passive defensive” behaviors, based on how our primal brain works when we are stressed and in really challenging circumstances: the flight or fight response. This could be expressed in various ways, for example by saying “Come on, let’s focus on the future, let’s move on” when others are not ready, or by just not talking to and connecting with colleagues as a way to avoid “rocking the boat”, or by feeling the need to connect emotionally with our own vulnerability and fears.
If these dynamics are happening today, we believe things will get much more difficult soon when we face the expected next phase of “people and business rightsizing“ that many are already calling, maybe too quickly, the “new normal”.
 

Responding to the challenge in a constructive way

So how can we break this vicious circle? How can you help your employees get back to their best and grow the power of adaptability and resilience they, and your organization, need now more than ever?
Axialent has been working with organizational culture change, executive learning and team effectiveness for a long time now. During difficult times and crisis, people usually do not respond as they normally would. There is a layer of emotional challenges that blocks many people’s ability to face reality and to embrace new ways with agility and joy. And unless worked on, it is hard for many people to connect with the opportunity and explore how they can grow, bringing the best of themselves for them, their colleagues and even, for those who are not around in the team anymore.
As a way to start helping you, and leaders in your organization, support your employees to be at their best, we offer below some specific actions. These will help people move on, with resilience, integrating their feelings and refocusing on what they can do to make the situation better for everyone:
1. Put things “on the table”What remains “under the carpet” or hidden, exists anyway and becomes a source of tension that will add unconscious “weight in people shoulders”. It is critical to create a safe space where people can talk about their feelings, engage in a constructive dialogue and build a collective emotional intelligence.
2. Meet people where they areWith empathy, compassion and non‐judgement, let’s allow everyone to be where they are before we invite them to move on. Don’t ask them to follow and meet you where you are, but walk towards them and let them know you are in it together. Show people it’s ok to feel what they feel. And recognizing our own vulnerability first is a strength that will allow people to move on faster and from a good place.
3. Ask people what they need to be at their best, inviting them to be players and gain controlPeople are often trapped in their own victimhood and find it hard to connect with what is in their control to make things better. We can gently invite them to connect with that part of themselves. It is always impressive to see how improving self-confidence and self-esteem is one of the most powerful ways to gain the resilience you need to face any crisis.
4. Create a future togetherIn the current uncertain times, it is critical to create a vision for what we can create together, in a way that strengthens our capacity to adapt. Building scenarios together, and adjusting them based on new information, is an exercise that helps people share possibilities and start working based on them. This helps everyone feel that they are contributing to solving things in each of the three dimensions of sustainable success: business KPIs, the way we work together building trust, and how each of us feel as individuals are aligned to our core values.
5. Gather information about how all this evolves and then act fastThe number one need that both employees and managers have been expressing is to be actively listened to. In today’s world you can leverage technology to gather data (even every day) about what your employees think and feel, and what their general mood is (always using it in a responsible and open way with the people from whom you are collecting the data from). Don’t miss this opportunity to know how your people are doing, and design actions that can meet their emotional needs.
Only from a place of awareness, we can choose how to best respond to each situation. This is the time to help everyone be at their best and each of us can play a key role in making this happen.
 
First published by Thierry de Beyssac and Fran Cherny in LinkedIn

Viktor Frankl quote “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
A couple of years ago, I joined a team facilitating an executive development session at a US company. During that meeting, a defense contractor executive shared an anecdote of a big crisis they had faced, and he said “Never let a good crisis go to waste”. That phrase stuck with me and during the last week I’ve been thinking about the current SARS-CoV-2 coronavirus crisis. The crisis is here, government officials, scientists, healthcare workers and many others are actively working to slow it down. The rest of us have been impacted in more than one way. There is now no scenario in which what is happening is not a crisis. Hence I have been pondering, how do we prevent this crisis from going to waste? In other words, what can we do to at least get some form of benefit to go with the hardships that are here, and that will inevitably come in the upcoming weeks and months. The answers to such a question are wide ranging – from a macro level of learning how to better prepare for this type of events in the future, all the way down to a very intimate level, like how do we cope in these critical times. I hope that this article can spark actionable ideas of how to get something of value in the midst of the inevitable.
I would like to share something that is more philosophical in nature. For some this might mean it’s only theoretical (and thus with little to no value in real life), but in reality it’s the cornerstone, or least a foundational piece, to equip ourselves to respond to this crisis. Let me start with an anecdote.
When I was 17 years old I was going through a rough patch of my life. A teacher at the time recommended that I read Viktor Frankl’s “Man’s Search For Meaning”. I found it very valuable at the time, yet I was (and still am) far from fully comprehending the depths of the lessons there. Fast forward to 2020 and we are in the middle of a global pandemic. As bad as things are as of April 1st, we are still in a moment in which we find people at very different places of understanding the situation. There’s a range that goes from completely ignoring the gravity of the situation (i.e. spring breakers in the US, or visitors enjoying the cherry trees blossom in Japan) to losing a loved one – and in some cases not even being able to give them a proper funeral, and everything in between. It does seem to me that as days progress more and more people are moving in this range towards the realization that we are in the midst of an unfolding catastrophe. As more and more cities enforce lockdowns to varying degrees (i.e. self-shelter or even curfews enforced by police or military personnel), we start seeing the control measures take their toll on society: work places closed, people losing jobs, kids home from school, overwhelmed healthcare workers risking their lives without enough supplies, you name it – and it is bad.
In the midst of this chaos, I have found it helpful to remember one of Viktor Frankl’s most famous quotes: “The last of the human freedoms: to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” This might be easy to dismiss if it was coming from a Psychiatrist sitting in a posh office somewhere, just coming up with a nice phrase. However, in case you are not familiar with his story, Frankl had this and many other insights as a result of his observations when interned in a Nazi concentration camp during World War II. His accounts of the experiences in this space are harrowing to say the least – yet suffice it to say that they are of a much graver nature than what the vast majority of us are experiencing during this crisis. So, wherever we find ourselves in the stress-spectrum, whether it’s in one end of being oblivious to it (or being in denial), or in the end of downright grief as tragedy has already struck us, we all keep the last of our human freedoms – choosing our attitude in our given set of circumstances. Such a deceivingly simple phrase merits being looked at in more depth – much more than what I would dare to attempt to cover. However, there are a couple of ideas I would like to put forward to take one step ahead in looking at the choice we can make with this last of our human freedoms:
-This is an internal choice, in which we are choosing how we respond to our circumstances. It allows us to at least being able to choose that attitude when we are in a situation in which we can’t choose most (or any) of our circumstances – whether you are locked up working from home during the epidemic, feeling stressed, taking your last breaths on a respirator – or in a concentration camp in WWII.
-This choice has to be renewed, as Frankl says, every day, every hour. Talking with colleagues, friends and family something I consistently hear is “I can’t believe it’s been only x weeks, it feels like months”. The toll of going about every day with the hardships we are facing is not a minor thing. Thus, we have to renew our choice every day, every hour: what is my attitude in light of these circumstances going to be? And to emphasize the point, circumstances do matter, they have a tremendous impact in us, but they do not inevitably condemn us to being and feeling in a certain way. According to Frankl’s work, even in the concentration camps, in which everyone was equally subjected to some of the worst horrors we’ve seen in history, there were differences in the attitude choices that some made. As Frankl says,  “It is not freedom from conditions, but it is freedom to take a stand toward the conditions.” 
Paying attention to this last of our human freedoms might seem inconsequential when compared to the scale of questions leaders, scientists and many others are working on answering: can we find a cure? If so, can we do it before the scale of this pandemic increases? Before the economy collapses? For the rest of us, most of these decisions are out of our reach. Our questions might be how do I pay rent? How do I keep food on the table and a roof on our heads? How do I manage the stress of …? In either case, having the weight of the world on our shoulders, or the weight of our families, or just of our own emotions, let’s focus on what we can control, or at least get a grip on: our attitude is a great place to start. If we all take care of this, we will at least collectively be in a much better mental and emotional space to make better choices, execute them and live with the consequences to come for the weeks and months ahead.
 

 
 

Disruption here, disruption there, disruption everywhere… It’s a buzzword, but what does it really mean?
I define disruption as the speed in which change happens, the acceleration it takes, and how fast it impacts other parts of the system. “The butterfly effect at the speed of light” — it alters the way you live, the way you engage with others, and the way you do business.
Disruption can be a threat to your business if you are the “disrupted” (think about Uber toppling the taxi and transportation industry), or it can be an advantage if you are the “disruptor” (at least, for some time). There have been many articles written about disruption, but I have found very few that talk about how to respond to it (especially if others depend on you as a leader).
Let’s refer to the iceberg model from one of my previous articles 

We believe the key to be able to respond to disruption is to look at our consciousness at the “being” level — gaining awareness of how we respond, when we are triggered or reactive, and how to recover faster when we are being triggered; identifying the triggers and consciously choosing how we will respond when new situations emerge. We will be tempted to think we know the answer, but we might be facing a problem we had not encountered before.
We need to be resilient (defined as the ability to recover faster and faster) at the “being” level in order to face and respond to disruption, as our egos will be challenged and at risk. How can you build a culture of resilience in your organization where egos or attachment are not getting in the way? Prepare your leaders and employees to face any situation they might encounter.
We will discuss three different “viruses” we see in organizations that work against building this resilience and the ability to respond:

  • Lack of curiosity, openness and acceptance of the status quo. We call this the “knower” or “fixed” mindset.
  • Lack of responsibility or ownership to respond and the speed with which we act. We call this the “victim” mindset.
  • The dangers of multitasking and not valuing the power of focus on a single task at a time. We call this the “multitasker.”

 

Lack of curiosity, openness and acceptance of the “status quo”

 
“I think there is a world market for about five computers.”
— Remark attributed to Thomas J. Watson, Chairman of the Board of International Business Machines (IBM), 1943
 
“We don’t like their sound. Group guitars are on their way out.”
— Decca Records on rejecting the Beatles
 
“Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?”
— Harry Warner, Warner Bros. 1927
 
What did you think when you read those statements? We can’t imagine our lives without computers. The Beatles became one of the biggest music success stories. And can you imagine movies without actors talking?
All of these examples disrupted their industries in a big way. Thankfully, there were others who believed in computers and The Beatles.
These statements all lack curiosity, which can be very dangerous. What if The Beatles had given up after speaking with Decca records?
Have you ever been in a meeting listening to the presenter and think to yourself “Wow, that will never work. What a stupid idea.”?
A good example of this is the Blockbuster story. Remember them? (Because many children today don’t!)  Netflix met with Blockbuster executives to propose a partnership, but Blockbuster laughed at the idea and didn’t agree. The rest is history.
Imagine how things would have been different if they had moved away from their “fixed” mindset and had been open to the partnership.
It is very easy to shut down others because we have a belief. That’s why the “knower” is a very dangerous mindset to be in. We believe our own opinion is the truth. We have been telling ourselves stories all our lives, but the danger comes when we start to believe our stories and are no longer open for other ideas to emerge.
 

Lack of responsibility or ownership to respond, and the speed with which we act

 
“Mommy, the toy broke.”
“The milk spilled.”
“He started it.”
 
For those who have children, you are probably very familiar with these statements or can think back to your own childhood. Now read the statements again. How do you think the toy broke? Who spilled the milk? Who started it? These are exactly the same as:
“The project got delayed.”
“The previous meeting ran late.”
“Accounting didn’t get me the report.”
 
On a bigger scale, this turns into a blame game, where the focus is on who created the problem. The BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico is a good example of the different parties not wanting to take responsibility for what happened. And that became a PR disaster.
Blaming external circumstances for something that occurred without you being part of it or having any ownership in it might be a good short-term strategy to keep your ego safe, but it will not help your business at all in the long term.
While you are all discussing whom to blame, someone is looking for the solution you need, and they will probably beat you to it.
This level of complacency can put your organization at a disadvantage.
 

The dangers of multitasking

In 2015 alone, 3,477 people were killed and 391,000 people were injured in motor vehicle crashes involving distracted drivers.
During daylight hours, approximately 660,000 drivers use their cellphone while driving
These numbers are very big and very concerning. We all know it, and yet we still do it. How can that be?
In organizations, multitasking has become the norm and is no longer an exception. It’s often even valued as an asset. Do you recall your last meeting? How many people were listening and at the same time looking at their phones? Have you dialed in for a conference call and at the same time responding to emails?
I am afraid I have to burst your bubble. Multitasking might be very good for some things, but you can’t apply it to everything. Effective multitasking is a myth and also very counterproductive.
Take driving for example. At any given time, we need to focus on the road ahead, look in the rearview or side mirrors, control our speed, apply the right amount of pressure to the gas pedal, and maybe even look at the GPS for direction. We may have mastered this art, but adding talking on the phone, texting or having an argument with another passenger in the car is where you push the limit and it becomes counterproductive.
When does your multitasking go too far?
 

But what next?

My invitation to you is to reflect on these three viruses:

  • Do you observe yourself displaying any of these behaviors? What about people around you?
  • Can you think of any situation in which displaying these behaviors impacted people negatively or hurt the business?

In my next article, we will unpack the antidotes to each of these viruses.


In 100% of the deals where significant value was lost, the senior leaders (in corporate and private equity firms) all report that culture issues were the cause.
 

If everyone knows the # is 100%, then optimism about the culture integration (of M&As) would seem to be negligent at best & self-sabotage at worst.

 
According to PwC research report “How to Create Value Beyond the Deal”, senior leaders report culture as being critical to business success and essential for value retention in a merger and acquisition; however, few truly understand it (yet proceed as if “this time” it will work out fine.)
There are obviously, better options available than leaving money on the table due to optimism, impotence and surrender. This all sounds like too much unnecessary suffering and permanent damage if you ask me. A new approach is needed to support leaders responsible for merging separate cultures more successfully. 
 

 
 

“Buyers and sellers both are saying culture and people need to be the highest priority from day one.” – PwC

 
Culture is such an obvious driver of value, but “many are scarred” by overestimating their own competency and underestimating the importance (but not in hindsight). Many have learned the hard way that changing culture requires experts in both the technical and human competency of changing culture.

  • 65% of companies (and 57% of private equity dealmakers) say cultural issues hampered the creation of value in addition to the 100% that said it caused value loss
  • 83% of the deals that lost significant value saw between 21% – 30% of key talent leave the business

 

 
 
 
The PwC research goes on to recommend: “Put culture at the heart of the deal: Keeping people and cultural aspects up front in planning is fundamental. Failing to plan for cultural change will undermine the value created. In the face of disruption across all industries, it is important to ensure these core elements are all working in harmony to ensure maximum returns, effective integration and long-term value creation.”
 
 
 
 

“Culture, if poorly managed, can absolutely be a deal-breaker” — Iñaki Cobo of KKR London

McKinsey & Company agrees: “Understanding culture, and proactively managing it, is critical to a successful integration. This requires a comprehensive approach. Cultural factors and organizational alignment are critical to success (and avoiding failure) in mergers. Yet leaders often don’t give culture the attention it warrants—an oversight that can lead to poor results.”
Leaders get a lot of things right on the tangible and technical side of the integration but often overlook the human side due to their lack of understanding/culture competency – it is a costly blindspot.
 

If only a fraction of the deal cost was invested in culture competency, many of the significant losses could be avoided and the likelihood for exponential value to be created would be significantly increased. What gets in the way? The hubris or lack of awareness is baffling – why do leaders keep repeating this mistake over and over while doing all the technical things right? Perhaps it’s because on the surface, they believe they are doing enough and it looks like things are going ok – many things do go very well…
 
WHAT USUALLY GOES WELL? (BUT ALONE IS NEVER SUFFICIENT)
Dedicated new team time: Both parties usually demonstrate a sincere openness to working together. Space is usually opened for people to share how they feel, acknowledge the different backgrounds, and highlight concerns and opportunities.
Strong leadership steps up to get things done: Usually, leaders are willing to step up and take on tasks and difficult challenges moving forward. There is a strong focus on action and getting things done.
A high level of business knowledge: On both sides, the knowledge and understanding of the business is usually high. (However, usually the knowledge and understanding of the human side of change/integration is not as high.)
Strong leaders role model well: Some leaders effectively and/or intuitively role model the type of culture they want to see.
 
WHAT GETS IN THE WAY OF CULTURE INTEGRATION?
A. We need to work inside out with an understanding that change starts from within: Persistent ineffective mindsets are the biggest blockers. From a cognitive level to new habits, mindset shifts from fixed to growth, victim to player and knower to learner need practice. It typically appears that the acquirer’s integration investment in the culture/people dimension has been ad hoc and limited, reflecting a “hope for the best outcome” versus a guarantee and commitment for the best return.
B. Significant gaps in leadership’s ability to “listen to understand” and/or seek first to understand, then to be understood: People need help building the muscles/ability to differentiate between opinion versus fact. They do not know how to do this, which in turn creates barriers to being received and understood, despite good intentions. Interactions improve when people learn to speak constructively and responsibly about issues as well as their own emotional journey.

C. Thinking “win-win-win” requires more listening and empathy: People and teams need support to help them become more self-aware and practice real empathy. For example, many times the acquirer will mention that the existing standards/processes would remain in place unless there was a compelling reason to change. Surprisingly, this invitation for certainty can often create a sense of disappointment among the acquiree’s executives.
D. There are pros and cons of the “acquirer’s way” for integrating the acquiree: Become conscious that the acquirer’s way can be very effective for many purposes. Yet when dealing with a culture like that of the acquiree, where they value something slightly different, it can also be a liability.
E. People’s perception of leadership matters: Individual leadership styles matter a great deal during the integration. It dramatically affects how engaging and inspiring they are (or are not), and how they are perceived by others. Many leaders don’t have a sufficient “mirror” helping them to be more aware of their own impact on others.
WHAT CAN WE DO TO START STRONG AS ONE NEW TEAM? 
Here’s how to start strong, preserve the best of both cultures and create value together…
 

1. Design a vision for the merger to be a model/symbol of the acquirer’s long-term commitment to the “marriage,” to innovation, to people, and to dominating the category. Use a statistically valid model (and practical visual device) to build alignment and to tell the story – e.g., the Organizational Culture Inventory (OCI/OEI®) is the world’s most thoroughly researched and widely used culture tool. Custom diagnostics/models are not better – they are too confusing, they don’t measure the right things and they cost more.

 
2. Support joint leadership teams to align culture and strategy – start by exploring their culture readiness (as an on-ramp to building shared clarity and alignment) and engage the teams in high-performance team development (individual and collective development/learning journeys).


 
3. Have joint leadership teams lead the co-creation of a new organizational culture plan with curiosity, collaboration and purpose. Use an expert process, expert model, and culture experts objectively supporting the team. Align the culture with the desired mental models and behaviors of the most senior leaders (assuming the most senior leaders represent the ideal culture attributes – if they don’t then we obviously need to have a different conversation – we will need to work on that ASAP.)

 
4. Avoid theoretical approaches and work hand in hand with business execution – think of this work as a culture prototype in the context of business. Implement a culture champions program to model culture throughout the organization and continuously gather real-time feedback. Pay close attention to communications coming from global and their impact on regional and local markets. The volume of global communications from different departments can be overwhelming and result in a lack of focus locally. Make sure communications are aligned behind a common vision for priorities
5. Measure the culture progress by identifying tangible metrics that allow for assessing the degree of progress.
CASE STUDY

In March the World Happiness Report for 2019 was published and the outcomes were quite discouraging. Negative feelings such as worry, sadness and anger increased by 27 percent between 2010 and 2018 and overall global happiness went down. One chapter of the report is titled, “The sad state of happiness in the United States and the role of digital media”. Happiness and well-being have been on a slow decline since 2000.
Several explanations, including decline in social capital and social support, as well as an increase in substance abuse and obesity, are cited as causes for the decline. This report and research suggest there is another explanation for this decline. Americans are making a fundamental shift in how they spend their leisure time. A large amount of time is spent interacting with electronic devices and this may have a direct link to unhappiness. Time spent in beneficial activities are now used for screen time. There is a decline in face-to-face time and sleep. This has caused a decline in well-being and may also explain the decline in happiness.
On a scale from 1 (unhappy) to 5 (extremely happy), how would you rate your happiness?
If you rated yourself below a 4 it might be time to give your life the “Marie Kondo” treatment. Marie Kondo or KonMari, a Japanese author and consultant, has taken the United States by storm with her book, “The Life-Changing Magic Of Tidying Up” and the recent Netflix series, “Tidying Up With Marie Kondo.”
How can we take some of KonMarie’s lessons and techniques and apply them to life?
Marie suggests that, before you start tidying, you practice some gratitude. Here are some guiding questions:

  • What am I grateful for today?
  • What am I grateful for in my life?
  • Who am I grateful for?

 
The main premise of KonMarie’s book is to tidy up by asking yourself “Does this item spark or bring me joy?” If it does, you keep it and if it doesn’t, you say, “Thank you” and toss or donate it.
 

“To truly cherish the things that are important to you, you must first discard those that outlived their purpose.”

 
Let’s start!
As a first step, try to connect to your personal values. Values are principles or standards of behavior; they are one’s judgment of what is important in life.
Examples of values include: integrity, freedom, love, kindness, commitment, accountability, perseverance, etc.
Write down your top three values and then answer these questions:

  • Are you currently living according to those values?
  • Is your behavior aligned with your values?

 
Work
Think for a few moments about your job, the work you do and ask yourself some of these questions:

  • What am I grateful for in this job? (Yes, we start with gratitude!)
  • Are the values of the company I work for aligned with my personal values?
  • What is the purpose of the company I work for and do I feel connected to that purpose?
  • Am I excited to go to work in the morning?
  • Does my work spark joy for me?

 
If you answered yes to all those questions, that’s awesome.
If you had a few nos, unlike KonMarie, who suggests you toss the items, I am not suggesting you should quit your job.
The purpose of this exercise is to give you some insight into where there might be some unhappiness. Now that you have identified the problem, you can take some corrective action and do something about it.
 

“If you are not part of the problem, you cannot be part of the solution.”

 
Social circle (e.g. friends and family)
Reflect on the people you surround yourself with:

  • What am I grateful for when it comes to my social circle?
  • Who are my cheerleaders and supporters?
  • Who might be holding me back?
  • Who are the friends who are always negative?
  • Which friendships are aligned with my values, and which ones aren’t?
  • Which of my friends bring me joy, and which don’t?

 
Again, I am not suggesting you end your friendships. All these people came into your life for a reason. This exercise serves as a way to take inventory of how and with whom you spend your time.
As a breast cancer survivor, this process happened almost organically for me. There were those who stayed with me throughout the process and those who became invisible and disappeared.
 
Time
We just never seem to have enough of it. When was the last time you took a tally of how you spend your time?
Think about the last week and write down how your time was allocated each day. Working, exercise, family, volunteering, school, writing, etc.
In addition, if your phone has the capability, check how much “screen time” you had over the course of a week.

  • What am I grateful for when it comes to time?
  • What patterns can I identify in my time tally?
  • Is my time allocation aligned with my values?
  • Where did I “waste” time?
  • How would I like to allocate my time?
  • What time sparks joy for me?

 
Remember the self-rating about your happiness at the beginning of the article? Would you change it now that you have read this article?
Reflecting on your work, social circles and use of time is there anything that stood out? Anything you would do differently?
Here are some powerful questions to ask yourself about your happiness:

  • What will I stop doing?
  • What will I start doing?
  • What will I continue doing?